Art is Dead

I've realized that I need to be creative in order to be happy.

Our lives as human beings are inherently meaningless. Being creative gives you a feeling of uniqueness and sense of importance, as if you've done something meaningful and have contributed to the world. Even if no one sees or acknowledges your creation.

There are over 7 billion reasons why originality is dead. Doing any sort of art for the sake of anything other than for the pleasure of being creative will only lead to disappointment. Now that I've decided I want to focus on writing, I've found that seeing so many people out there with blogs, websites, and columns is really discouraging.

Last night at the open mic I went to with Zeus, over half of the performers did covers. It made me sad to see that people are so desperate to be recognized and heard that they will just replicate something that's already popular. Or maybe my pessimistic, overly emotional, wine and vodka soaked brain was reading too much into it. Perhaps they just don't know how to write music but enjoy playing it. Either way, I realized that there are so many fighting over a piece of the pie that even if I get my share I will only have a crumb, barely visible to the naked eye.

Fuck the pie.

Time is My Money

So it looks like I'll be transferring to the Technical Web Design program that starts in January. It's apparently not as challenging and it's set up so that you do most of your work in class and rarely have homework. Perfect. You know.. there is a small chance that perhaps if it weren't for the drinking, drugs, concerts, parties and staying up late -I might have had less difficulty with school. Haha! But seriously, if I can't do it high/drunk/hungover/tired, then I can't do it at all. Because at any given time I am most likely one or more of these things, so unless I am extremely passionate about what I'm doing, I need an education/profession that doesn't demand too much of my spare time and/or attention.

Now, you may think this sounds like the musings of a lazy, middle-class, hedonistic wannabe-socialite slacker... and quite honestly, that might be an accurate assumption. I get bored easily and my social life has always taken precedence over my responsibilities.

I think life is meant to be enjoyed. Chronic stress is unhealthy. I don't have that "drive to succeed" that we're fed to believe that we're supposed to have in order to qualify as functional adults and productive members of society. Sure, I like money as much as the next person, but no money is worth my happiness and sense of well-being. After my health, family and friends, I value my free time the most.

Besides working 11 hours a week at BCIT, I have no other obligations until January 14th.

Jackpot.