Nothing like a cold read on a hot day

I've always walked by that Utopia place on Lonsdale and saw the sign for a psychic reading and thought it would be funny to go in one of these days and get one..You know, just for shits and giggles. Well, I guess today was destined to be that day.

Shits there were not, but giggles.. Those hit me as soon as I walked in. I was bombarded by so much woo it was overwhelming. Crystals and incense and books with hilarious titles like "Medical Healing with your Mind -scientifically proven to work!". I had to walk around for about 5 minutes pretending to browse so that I can force a straight face and focus on maintaining my composure.

Once in the session, she quickly deciphered my personality by probably assessing my body language, tone of voice, and socio-economic status as well as using vague terminology like "smart", "witty", and "funny".

Apparently I "get" men (as in I relate to them) because in most of my past lives I was male. Ha! That's actually something I've always joked about.

She asked, "What signs are you usually attracted to?"

My first thought was, 'Wrong Way', 'Dead End', 'Danger'..

"My last two ex's were Cancers," I replied. She then told me that the problem with Cancers are that they are moody. "They weren't moody", I said, "At all."

Then of course she backtracked, "I think it makes a difference what year they are born." I'm sure it does.

I'm going to meet a Gemini who is slightly older than me and has a "good job" some time between "tomorrow and October". Awesome. Let me mark that one on my calendar.

I am also "good and bad with money". Makes perfect sense.

All in all she was a really nice lady and kind of funny. She is a smooth talker and good at what she does. I can see why it would be so easy to fall into the trap of believing this stuff. The human brain is wired to think magically; critical thinking does not come naturally and takes work. We've evolved to make connections between loosely associated facts and attach meaning where there is none. No matter how skeptical and logical I am, I found myself starting to read into her vague statements and had to pull myself out of the quicksand.

We unconsciously give away so much about ourselves in our body language that all someone has to do is "read" it and interpret it back to you and feed off of your validation.

She gave me her card in case I want to meet some of the people from my past lives.

I bet they are dead sexy.